Argh, mum guilt. The actual bane of my parenthood life thus far. Not a day goes by where the feeling of ‘I could do better’ or ‘I’m not a good enough mum’ doesn’t enter my brain – it’s mentally exhausting.
I left Albie in his cot for a whole FIFTEEN minutes after he awoke from his afternoon nap so I could finish emptying the dishwasher and pop to the loo, GUILTY. For dinner Albie had fish fingers, wedges and peas instead of organic, flaxseed-infused, quinoa bites, (do these even exist?) GUILTY.
I feel a pang of guilt every time I drop Albie off at nursery so that I can go to work – something that I have to do in order to keep a roof over our heads and aforementioned fish fingers on our plates.
And truth be told, even though I have to work, I want to work too, for my own sanity and self-preservation. I like being able to drink coffee whilst it's still hot and focus on something else that isn't a needy toddler. This too makes me feel guilty. I should long to be a SAHM, no?
It just seems that as a parent, you're always going to feel that you could be doing something, hell, everything differently and as a result you are consumed by guilt. There's no escaping it.
But should we be trying to escape it?
I don't think we should. Not completely.
Instead, we should learn to embrace the guilt and what it means. Feeling guilty about the way you are parenting your offspring means that you care. Constantly questioning yourself and wondering what you could do differently means that you love your kid/s and want what's best for them. Ultimately, by feeling guilty and wanting to improve you are striving to be the best, most badass parent and role model that you can be.
However, whilst we embark on this mission for superiority, we need to cut ourselves some slack and remember that our wellbeing matters too. We shouldn't have to sacrifice our sanity to try and achieve the impossible that is perfect parenting. Our happiness is reflected in our children and ultimately, a happy mum means a happy home and that is the environment that children thrive in.
And if that means that after a stressful day at work you serve up a plate of freezer food for dinner so you can have more time to yourself that evening then so be it. It doesn't mean you care any less about your children. In fact, they'll probably see the beige feast served upon them as a massive treat, win-win.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that if your child is loved, safe and secure then you are doing a grand job. Remember that. Sometimes good enough is just that, good enough. Every parent will occasionally cut corners, yes even those 'perfect' earth mummys on Instagram.
Until next time,
Albie's Mum
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